Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

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The Uwe Boll saga is fast becoming a nightmare for gamers, as it seems that his talents are limited to securing funds for gaming massacres. It seems that Mr. Boll has managed to get producers to commit USD 60 million for a movie version of the sword-and-sorcery video game Dungeon Siege.

The fact that good ol' Uwe keeps finding money to make his movies has led to the generation of a conspiracy theory centered around an anti-gaming organization bent on destroying the reputation of gaming as a harmless pass-time. Secretly funded by various secret services, the devious organization has recruited master of the half-hearted attempt, Uwe Boll to guarantee gaming's demise. Judging by his recent Alone in the Dark, his previous House of the Dead and the upcoming Far Cry, Hunter: The Reckoning Fear Effect and now Dungeon Siege movies, we are beginning to see that there is little hope. The image to your right may offer some explanation as to the results produced by Mr. Boll' moviemaking efforts.

What is even more worrying in the Dungeon Siege movie effort, is that the dark forces have recruited Jason Statham (Cellular) to star as Farmer, the hero, this is an actor who we thought did a pretty good job in The Transporter and who we would hate to see branded by the Boll curse. Ron Perlman (Hellboy) will play Norick, an old friend of Farmer's and his companion. Matthew Lillard (Without a Paddle) will also star as Duke Fallow, the nephew of King Konreid, who is played by Burt Reynolds (The Longest Yard).

John Rhys-Davies (Raiders of the Lost Ark) is Merrick the Magus, the court sorcerer. Leelee Sobieski (The Glass House) is Muriella, Merrick's daughter, and Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3 and also BloodRayne) is Elora, an enchanted tree-like creature whose support proves critical to Farmer.

If any other director was involved this cast would have raised some hope regarding the movie but just the fact that Mr. Boll claims that the movie will be similar to The Lord of the Rings and a 3 hour epic, makes all sorts of alarm bells go off in our heads.

Unfortunately it is too late to save Dungeon Siege as shooting, never before has the term been this apt, begins this weekend in Vancouver. Far Cry is also a gonner but I beg you to help stop this madness. The only way we are aware of that can fight the forces that want to destroy gaming is through the Dear Dr. Boll website but we have to admit nothing much seems to be going on there. Please let us know through the comments section if you have any ...more proactive ideas about how to thwart Uwe's dastardly plans.

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Comments

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

Damn that stupid f**ker. I swear, if not for the fact that it was bloody illegal, I'D put a bullet in that pretentious f**k's head.On the other hand, who cares? Game-To-Movie converts have sucked since the beginning of time, relatively speaking.

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

let him make them movie and see what happens. but i don't care it will be like the 2nd tomb raider movie(even tho i liked it)it will go down hill(i hope thay making halo movie like this). Lets blow up hollywood and we will not see crappy moive games again.

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

Ahhh, good ol' Mr Boll.So, he is getting licenses and funding for many game to movies. But it seems od that the movies he is making are the games that don't seem to have much of a hope being converted in the first place. House of the dead? We all remember it for its riveting story. Hunter? Ahhh yes, that game made you "think" Farcry? Tropical island + mutant ape zombies = awesome in game. but I have my doubt in a movie.Bloodrayne? no thanks.Alone in the Dark? We all remember that game so strongly. Well I remember always being killed in an attack.So, we all know Boll is a complete tard. When he speaks about his movies he sounds like he is a kid trying to explane an awesome dog he once saw.I think they should start giving him all the really poor game franchises to make. Because we will all be happy to see them go up in flames, and it will help to get rid of Boll.The only good game to movie was "Super mario brothers" now that movie was awesome! Oh man, I want to watch it now.They should make a commmander keen movie. But I guess its the way it all works, movies to games tend to suck. and it works the otherway around. But I think there is still hope! But only after Dr Boll is dead.

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

lol a commander keen movie...anyway this s**t head on my right with the bottle in hand should stop this madness and his next project will be farcry someone stop him pls. As everybody knows all his game to movie adaptation suck and i doubt he will make a decent film in the coming years (if he will be still alive). this guy is hated by all gamers and my opinion for the bloodrayne movie is that the film will be plain rubbish. for farcry we will see.......

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

Uwe Boll, thanks for destroying videogame franchises which could have been great movies. Your lack of talent as a director screams out at me whenever I see one of your movies. Knowing that you're probably a money grubbing tard and wouldn't ever heed anything anyone ever says negatively about you on the internet or real life, F*** YOU!

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

Hum...Another great game turned into movie junk... I think this guys should be treated properly at his local mental institution. I mean WTF? Dont people get that this guy really sucks? Get Peter Jackson to make a swell game based movie not this idiot who cant even use someone elses money to make a good movie.

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

UEW BOLL AND PAUL WS ANDERSON SHOT BE BANNED FROM FILMMAKING - THEY SUCK BIG TIME!!!!!!Sorry i will stop shouting now, as gamers it hurts that all these titles that could be awesome get ruined by these idiots who only care about their paycheck and not the fans and what the originals stood for.Resident Evil,AvP, house of the dead are all piles of S**T.Theres so many good filmakers they could use especially with the budgets the game licenses have now - imagine if George Romero did the resident evil movies or Jim Cameron did AvP????The movies we see are "based on the concept of" thats what ive heard paul anderson say "and do pretty much whatever we want with it"The sad world of movies being ruined by fools......

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

Well I always "dreamed" about a person that loved videogames and would promote them in other ways, especially cinema. This person would create a piece of cinema-art out of a tremendous videogame and all non-gamers would appreciate the great world that videogames is and they would stop treating us like some maniatic psicho killers. But ... this "dream" has turned into a TWISTED NIGHTMARE!!! The messiah is a twisted man with a kid's mind and very BAD TASTE. Now people think that we are a group of dumb psicho killers watching dumb game-movies and playing dumb games ever day, we got a heart Uwe Boll!!.Give me the money and I'll do a better movie!! its obvious.Well If you ignore the gamers community (ironic?!) and you go on making "movies" just, PLEASE, dont touch any of my favorite games or you'll regret it.A psicho killer maniac

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

UWE BOLL: It's unbelievable! It's a very interesting movie and the first Avid output is around three hours. So, it is a long movie but I will make it two hours in the end. It's definitely the longest movie I've done so far. <<<talking about Bloodrayne at [url removed] , 2 hours!!!!! ARGG Im not downloading it!

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

I'd say you guys take your anger to the game companies that sold the rights to this peice of S**T, and tell them to BAN any directors we deem unfit to direct our cherished games. I'm a gamer, and the first time I heard House of the Dead was coming out at the theatre I was full of excitement, then when I saw that movie I was so disturbed at what a S**T movie it was I walked out of there and demanded my money back! UWE BOLL you are BLACK LISTED!!! Never will I or my friends watch your CRAP!!! I implore all gamers to do the same, save your friends from watching such pathetic directing!!! Games to movies should be made by the Gamers!!!

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

Anonymous below me mentioned the game companies about selling their rights to boll. In Fact It's Their fault too. By Now They Should already know that gamers hate this guy and his movies. these kind of movies should make them some serious directors not by a STUPID,IDIOT man like boll.

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

interesting article. I think this is from wikipedia originally:"While under normal circ*mstances a director's movies could gross so little he's eventually shut out from every operating studio, Boll is exempt because he funds them under a loophole in German tax law that is supported by contributors and actually rewards films that perform badly, via a writeoff at the end of the year."[url removed]

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

interesting article. I think this is from wikipedia originally:"While under normal circ*mstances a director's movies could gross so little he's eventually shut out from every operating studio, Boll is exempt because he funds them under a loophole in German tax law that is supported by contributors and actually rewards films that perform badly, via a writeoff at the end of the year."[url removed]

Boll Secures Dungeon Siege Funding

AvP was a comic book along time ago before it was a pc game and so you can't say it was a game to movie conversion, but anyway that's not what I wanted to say but I have read the article about this immature fool who thinks he's a really good director the photo shows he's more into money than reputation with the gaming companys for letting him ruin all their hard work on creating games just to destroy them utterly,this man can be put down as a waste of bloody time with hollywood, of course the players can make a film because we know what's in the game contents and what the characters should look like and what they should do in the movies, and it's possible he's causing this problem by being paid by sombody to make the movies really sick to make kids stop playing computer games because of the violence and sex involved, but we don't give a f**k about that we have our rights to play any game we want lol

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