As part of a required test protocol: Merry Christmas

GLaDOS is a cunning, cold-blooded mass murderer AI who used to guide through the shiny but cruel corridors of Aperture Science Labs in order to reach The Cake. It seems that even GLaDOS can be touched by the spirit of Christmas.

Aperture Science Labs website visitors are now being greeted by a companion cube, a cake and a yuletide instrumental rendition of Still Alive, the hilarious Portal credits song.

Still Alive Lyrics:

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here: huge success
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart and killed me
And tore me to pieces
And threw every piece into a fire
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
So I'm glad I got burned, think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive

Go ahead and leave me
I think I'd prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
Maybe Black Mesa
That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
Anyway this cake is great
It's so delicious and moist
Look at me still talking when there's science to do
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive
And while you're dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I will be still alive
Still alive
Still alive

Written by Jonathan Coulton

Add new comment

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Comments

Add new comment